The Eldest Daughter
As I took my first breath, my parents – devout Catholics as there are – bestowed upon me my name, in honor of Saint Joan of Arc. She has been and remains my patron saint; through the ebb and flow of my existence, the spirit of this near-mythical maiden has been a persistent guide. Her strength has inspired my own self-development in times of worldly and spiritual uncertainty.
I write this letter through the lens of transparency and clarity; a dissertation of sorts to truly explain the foundations of the Astrum Temple. As a child, I was raised in a Traditionalist Catholic household. Our family’s faithful devotion was the central loom that wove the fabric of our lives together; religion was our life. Around the age of nine, I began to silently wonder if there was more to the world and the nature of divinity. No matter the distraction, I could not shake the feeling that the religion of my birth was but one star in a constellation of truths. And I wanted to discover what, if anything, lay beyond the horizon of my upbringing.
I began to explore, in as much secrecy as I could muster at the time. Frequent visits to our community library were chances to steal away into the sections of religion and mythology. I devoured everything I could find; from myths of the ancient world, to indigenous shamanic lore, and European fairytales. With this new found information, I crafted my utopian ideals, bringing the theatre of my mind to life, one page at a time. Over the next twenty-five years, I built upon that initial foundation of curiosity to find myself here, in this moment.
As a wide-eyed preteen navigating the confusions of puberty, I discovered the reality of magick – the science of the esoteric world. My first introduction was a 1986 edition of Reader’s Digest: Magic and Medicine of Plants. It was here, in the introductory section of this book, I had my first taste of witchcraft, folk magick, and the history of plants within these long held traditions. I was hooked. I found yet another key and unlocked a new door within my psyche. It felt like a fire being lit inside my soul. While I didn’t know it then, this discovery was the catalyst that launched my passion for the study of the occult and theological philosophy.
The path of the occult is colloquially considered the “crooked path”, an apt description for those in the know. Searching for the esoteric among the exoteric world is the equivalent of wandering alone in the woods looking for signs of egress. Yet, it is only when one is lost that one truly comes to realize and discover themselves. From my first inkling of wonder as a child, I see how willingly I chose this path; it had been the most humbling of experiences that genuinely shaped the soul I am today. Every mentor and seeker I met, human and spirit alike, has imparted profound lessons and hard truths along the way. I would not be the person I am today without those encounters and I am eternally grateful, even for the most painful of revelations.
After years of dedicated study and the initiations brought on by the world, I felt ready to heed my calling. Since that spark of intuition as a young girl, like Joan of Arc of old, I knew my purpose.
Out of the Woods
The esoteric heart of the Astrum Temple is a project of spiritual renewal, healing, and personal growth. It is a collaboration of my past and present selves, it is a gift to my inner child, and a promise to those in the constellations of my life. Having grown up under the mantle of a rich Catholic upbringing, this was a fundamental aspect of my life I could not deny. But, with growth comes change; the faith of my parents held the blueprint for the work I present today; my arduous study from decades past, the brick and mortar of this spiritual home.
I built this house of worship for myself, primarily, as an exercise. The Astrum Temple is a culmination of my life’s work, my spiritual head-canon, if you would. Throughout the pages of history, any and all new movements have their origins at a specific point in time. Mine happens to be fixated here in the 21st century. And while it’s philosophy is based on the gnosis of antiquity, it’s framework embraces contemporary wisdom.
“Consider the Sun’s legacy, written in the life it sustains and the memories it etches upon the sky with every twilight. Aspire to leave a trail of light in your wake that continues to guide even in your absence.”
Liber Solis 5:4
I have taken it upon myself to pen a book of scripture as a guide for personal introspection. The prior quote is from the Liber Solis, or Book of the Sun, imparting one such chapter of insight. It illustrates the tangible nature of the sun as an earthly companion, yet also as an aspect of divinity, illuminating our lives with lessons of metaphor to reflect the magnanimity of its influence. There is a series of books within this Scriptura which venerate the wisdom of the Astra, the “Wandering Stars” of the ancient world. These celestial bodies, visible to the naked eye, are the original rulers of the western zodiac and have been given a place, here, in the development of the human soul.
At this point in our history as a people, it is rather common to understand that humanity was birthed from the dust of stars; we are children of the universe. All life for that matter originates from the fires of the cosmos. It is because of this truth I look to the heavens for inspiration, towards our origin point. Every thing is a member of a great cosmic family, each of us interconnected with another. From the minerals in the earth, to the flora, and the fauna. Humanity is but one shuttle in the cosmic loom of reality.
In the spirit of panentheism, a belief of “All in God”, my expression of faith interprets the given universe is a manifestation of divinity and our cosmic identities are within the body of God. We are seeds of divinity living inside material form. The “why” is one of life’s greatest and most pondered mysteries. And perhaps, when we pass beyond the mortal coil, our souls, nurtured and matured with care, will have the ability to reunite with the Source; to return to our divine house from which we originated.
The Journey Home
Every step I took in life has been leading to this moment; the moment of self-acceptance. My dark night of the soul spanned years, rife with anguish, fear, and uncertainty. I chose to walk into that forest to pursue gnosis – and as the hero’s journey advances, so must the hero face trials and tribulations. Only from overcoming hard lessons and fervent introspection can the hero hope to untangle themselves from the snares of distraction and find the path once again. Without woe, I admit I still walk within this canopy of trees, as we all do. We continue to search for truth, we eventually find our path; the end result being the same – we emerge into the light of gnosis.
I invite you to walk this path with me, fellow seeker.
Ordo Templi Astrum 